Previously on Distribution of Our Lives, the aggregator I’d been using to get into Google Play announced it was closing its doors and left me in the cold to die.
I trudged door to door, pleading at each, “Please, kind sir, won’t you allow me to warm myself by your Google-accessing hearth?”
Many doors closed in my face with a curt, “There is no Google access here, girl.”
Others opened as wide as lascivious leers, accompanied by unseemly terms.
“Payment in bitcoin? I am not that kind of girl, sir!”
Bitter weeks passed, and the ember of hope faded to cold ash. As I abandoned my dreams, I heard the thunder of approaching hooves and resolved myself to ending my despair via trampling. I closed my eyes, held my final breath, and waited for oblivion to fold me in its numbing embrace.
The hoofbeats slowed to a stop beside me. A labored snort heated my frozen cheek.
I opened my eyes and looked up, up, up at the mighty white steed beside me, atop which sat—could it be?—Prince Google himself! His lips were stern, but his eyes were kind as he extended his hand. “I will take you in, child. You will never know cold again, and I vow to pay you for your labors in currency recognized by your utility company.”
I gladly accepted his hand, the warmth of which melted the ice from my fingers and my heart. He lifted me onto the saddle before him, wrapped his multicolored cloak about me, and carried me with haste to his wondrous castle filled with books, music, moving pictures, and strange applications, where we lived happily ever after.
(Can you believe some displaced beggars just got their invitations by email? Pfffft.)
In other words, Google Play is now included in my distribution lineup for maximum availability, and links sitewide have been updated accordingly!