20 Nov

Great Googley Moogley!

Previously on Distribution of Our Lives, the aggregator I’d been using to get into Google Play announced it was closing its doors and left me in the cold to die.

I trudged door to door, pleading at each, “Please, kind sir, won’t you allow me to warm myself by your Google-accessing hearth?”

Many doors closed in my face with a curt, “There is no Google access here, girl.”

Others opened as wide as lascivious leers, accompanied by unseemly terms.

“Payment in bitcoin? I am not that kind of girl, sir!”

Bitter weeks passed, and the ember of hope faded to cold ash. As I abandoned my dreams, I heard the thunder of approaching hooves and resolved myself to ending my despair via trampling. I closed my eyes, held my final breath, and waited for oblivion to fold me in its numbing embrace.

The hoofbeats slowed to a stop beside me. A labored snort heated my frozen cheek.

I opened my eyes and looked up, up, up at the mighty white steed beside me, atop which sat—could it be?—Prince Google himself! His lips were stern, but his eyes were kind as he extended his hand. “I will take you in, child. You will never know cold again, and I vow to pay you for your labors in currency recognized by your utility company.”

I gladly accepted his hand, the warmth of which melted the ice from my fingers and my heart. He lifted me onto the saddle before him, wrapped his multicolored cloak about me, and carried me with haste to his wondrous castle filled with books, music, moving pictures, and strange applications, where we lived happily ever after.

(Can you believe some displaced beggars just got their invitations by email? Pfffft.)

In other words, Google Play is now included in my distribution lineup for maximum availability, and links sitewide have been updated accordingly!

Amazon (AU | CA)  |   Apple  |   Barnes & Noble  |   Google Play  |   Kobo  |   Smashwords

07 Nov

Growing Wide (And Not Just in the Hips)

Well, November is off to a screaming start. *twitch* After much agonizing, formatting, uploading, metadataing, waiting, giving up on certain entities because of the waiting, resorting to other means, and linking (so much linking), I am finally pleased to announce the successful embiggening of my sales platform to most sellers. My books are now available at Apple, Kobo, Barnes & Noble, and Smashwords in addition to Amazon, will be trickling down to too many tiny sellers for me to keep track of (so… much… linking…), and can be acquired by ebook-friendly libraries if you tell them, “Psst. Hey. I want to read this.”

In the unlikely event someone of your acquaintance has said, “Ooh, I’d love to read her books, but I don’t buy from Amazon,” feel free to pass along this important and wonderful news at your discretion.

Unfortunately, the distributor I was using just for Google Play access announced it is closing its doors, and other options for entry to GP are limited, so that’s off the table for now. Sorry, Google fans. (I got in direct with Google as of November 18! Books are uploaded! Will have another linking binge when they go live!)

To conclude the linking frenzy, here are my author pages at a manageable number of sellers (alphabetical order, indicative of neither favoritism nor benefit to me):

Amazon  (AU  •  CA) *  |  Apple  |  Barnes & Noble  |  Google Play  |  Kobo  |  Smashwords

* Thanks to an anonymous Aussie who clicked a link and got sent into nothingness, I was reminded the link to my official author page on Amazon won’t work in Australia and Canada (because they don’t have official author pages), so I’ve added special links for y’all. Book-specific links sitewide will route everybody to the appropriate store, but the general Amazon author page is valid only for the US, UK, France, Germany, and India storefronts. Sorry for the inconvenience. I sincerely hope things will be smoother going forward.

13 Oct

Twitter Quitter

Funny how you use one hashtag on Twitter and people who never had anything to do with you before descend on your blog comments and inbox en masse to criticize your life choices. Gosh, I’ll miss it so much!

Since my last tweet apparently wasn’t self-explanatory for some, allow me to elaborate. I decided independently yesterday morning that I’d had enough. I deleted the app from my tablet. I was shutting down the app I use on my laptop when the boycott hashtag popped up, so I did my small part to support the sentiment.

It has since become evident that a lot of people don’t know what a boycott is (or pretend not to so they can make snide comments). The point of boycotting a social media platform (or a store or a television show or anything else) isn’t to make a devastating sacrifice on the part of the protestors—the point is to hit the wallet of the business being boycotted.

If you think Twitter isn’t a business because it doesn’t sell anything, I have some bad news for you. When a business lets you use its product for free, you are the product it’s selling, and advertisers and investors are buying you. (How Does Twitter Make Money?)

Let’s just say, for lack of better data, half of Twitter’s 328 million users are women. If their inventory of people was cut in half (by, for instance, a sustained boycott), their business would be destroyed. They would be forced to make changes to get those 164 million users back or lose everything.

That’s obviously not going to happen for any number of reasons, but as a hypothetical, a boycott could be an effective agent of change.

But I’m actually not boycotting for a day. I won’t be back on Saturday. I’m simply done.

My decision isn’t in response to a single incident. I’ve had to block over 70,000 accounts to make Twitter almost bearable to use, and that didn’t all happen this week. This week is just the final straw on a back-breaking load that’s been building for years. What I saw this week was brave women coming forward about abuse, being exposed to an outpouring of additional abuse, and Twitter maintaining their commitment to doing nothing because, hey, you say stuff in public and people gonna people, babe.

I would never advocate women being silent. I’m not going to be silent. But I’m not doing my speaking on their shitty, abusive platform and contributing to the “engagement” stats they use to generate revenue. Twitter no longer gets to use me as an asset to sell advertising while rape/death threats, Nazis, and abuse bots run unchecked and those being attacked get suspended because their attackers are organized and report harmless tweets in sufficient numbers to trigger an algorithm. (More about Twitter’s longstanding love affair with abusers and bots.)

I’ve never seen anyone become enlightened on Twitter. You’re either preaching to the choir or attracting the attention of people thoroughly entrenched in their hatred of you, so there’s nothing to be gained from “debating” your humanity and right to exist in that environment.

What I have seen is good people spiraling into depression as shitty people harass them. I’ve seen good people driven into setting even their business accounts to private. I’ve seen good people disappear without a trace.

It’s a dumpster at this point. If the trash wants it, the trash can have it. There are innumerable better places to have those important discussions, free from the stench of the garbage barge.

This isn’t much of a statement. I’m a terrible Twitter user. Nobody’s going to miss me and my riveting tea-tasting adventures. I’ve blocked as much of the platform’s data-gathering as humanly possible, so I wasn’t even a high-value marketing asset. I’m quitting for myself. That’s one less place I have to encounter bullshit from every side when I’m just trying to have a good time, and there’s a teeny tiny kernel of satisfaction that however many views I contributed to the Look How Prosperous We Are Report is now reduced to zero.

That’s it. I’m not trying to convert anybody. I wouldn’t have even mentioned it if it hadn’t attracted such a flood of diarrhea flowing from the source of the problem. Blog comments will be re-enabled after the fetid tide goes back to the loving embrace of its unmoderated abyss.

15 Jun

Someone Asked: What and when?

What comes after What Comes After Dessert and when will it be out?

The plan is to release New Book on November 1, 2016. (This is, of course, subject to change due to unforeseen disasters or miracles that occur in the meantime, but that’s the date I’m aiming for.)

It’s about lousy marriage proposals, the horrors of wedding dress shopping, a duchess, and an enchilada.

It’s about a one-night stand that turns into just a fling that escalates like a dumpster fire into a situation all parties agreed from the beginning was not the desired outcome.

It’s about being trapped by an image of your own making and being set free when one person is able to see you differently.

It’s about other things, as well, but you’ll have to wait to find out what they are.

13 May

Status Report

“How did he call her a noxious weed and not get a drill bit in the larynx?”

About two minutes ago, I finished handwriting the rough draft of New Book (code named The Duchess and the Enchilada).

There is a LOT of work to be done (starting with typing 332 handwritten pages…), but it is now officially A Tangible Thing rather than a nebulous intention that exists only inside my imagination. Were I so inclined, I could put it in someone’s hands and say, “Look what I made!”

(I am many, many drafts away from such an inclination, but my editor has been forewarned.)

I don’t keep good records of writing milestones, but I feel like I was at a similar point last year with WCAD. So I’m going to go out on a scrawny, rotten limb and predict this one will be published at a similar time, somewhere around November 1.

You can sign up for new-release notification in the event you’d like to be notified when the new release becomes available. (That’s all it’s for. After the “verifying you weren’t signed up against your will” email, you’ll hear from me once a year, tops.)

Now I sense the spectre of my old nemesis, Dreadline, glaring at me like the Eye of Sauron.

Anybody have any superstitious anti-jinx rituals to share in the comments? Asking for a friend.